The Ten Commandments for Marriage

Our greetings and prayers to all brethren and friends, who are marking seasons of loving relationships this month of July.

In our celebration let us all re-visit the nurturing catalyst of that abounding intimacy with our loved-ones and foremost our Heavenly Father in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Let us re-stir ourselves with the Ten Commandments for Husbands and Wives as shared by Elisabeth Elliot (with few personal comments) and let’s also try to get hold of the book of Dr. James Dobson (Love Must Be Tough). It is our belief that if we, as couples, lived by these useful commandments, our marriages would grow stronger and richer. We pray you’ll gain from them as we do.

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR MARRIAGE:

(1) RESPECT THE IMAGE OF GOD IN THE OTHER PERSON. If someone said, "How would you treat your spouses if you saw them as being autographed by God?" The Bible tells us that we're ALL made in the image of God (and that includes our spouse).

(2) REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU A GIFT IN YOUR SPOUSE. We hurt the Lord's heart whenever we abuse or take for granted, the gift that He's given to us. We know this isn't always easy to do—especially if we're in the middle of a conflict or pestering issue. But, it is always rewarding to make a conscious effort every day to thank God for our best-halves and for the gifts He's given to them that add value to our lives.

I don't believe it's a "coincidence" that the number of conflicts in our marriage is reduced simply by viewing our spouses as the gift from God that they really are. That's because it doesn't leave much room in our heart for anything but gratitude and appreciation.

(3) LOVE ALWAYS MEANS SACRIFICE. Jesus himself set the example for all of us in laying down His life for us. (Let’s read Ephesians 5:1-2 …..you must try to be like Him. Your life must be controlled by love….[Good News]) and ask ourselves how to apply these verses in our marriage.)

(4) RELINQUISH YOUR RIGHTS. That's a really tough one, especially in today's world. Christ showed us the perfect example in this. As we read Philippians 2:5-8 we see where Christ Himself who had every right there ever could be, emptied Himself of all but love, making Himself nothing. We're told to have the same attitude. As we interact with our spouse we need to keep in mind that it's not about being right—but rather doing what's right that's important. Relinquish our rights as Christ Jesus did for us.

(5) LET EACH ESTEEM THE OTHER BETTER THAN HIM/HERSELF. This is an area that we REALLY see lacking in most married couples. Philippians 2:3-4 says to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than your selves. Each of us should look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others." This we must apply specially with our spouses, first and foremost.

The Lord continually reminds each of us not to think that our opinions aren't more important than our spouse's. In order to live through those verses in everyday living in our marriage, we’re to put our partner’s interests as a priority over our own. It goes back to remembering that God's given my husband/wife to me as a gift to love, which takes sacrifice on my part. It also means relinquishing my own rights, giving priority to my partner’s.

That doesn't mean that I'm to erase my own opinions or interests. It means that I'm not to let my own selfish ambitions take over where I sacrifice the "we" for me. When I gave my vow to love, honor, and cherish my spouse before God, I vowed from that day forward that I'd make continual choices to walk through life unselfishly as half of a whole team, fully committed to do my part to glorify God in our union in marriage.

(6) PRAY FOR EACH OTHER — PRAY and WITH EACH OTHER (very important and so often overlooked). We aren't only to pray together at meal times. We’ve found that in our own marriage as we pray for and with each other, our relationship grows all the deeper. God has a way of uniting us all the more as we pray together. "There's nothing that makes us love someone as much as prayer for him" (William Law).

(7) NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY. (See Ephesians 4:26-27 …. Don’t give the devil a chance; and Psalm 4:4 …think deeply about this when you lie in silence on your beds [Good News]) We all need to remember that "anytime we reconcile, it's a picture of what God wants to do with man".

(8) WHENEVER YOU'RE WRONG, ADMIT IT. WHENEVER YOU'RE RIGHT, BE QUIET! Love aims at unity and harmony.

(9) KEEP SIGHT OF YOUR PLACE IN GOD'S ORDER. God can work in wonderful ways when we view our role in our marriage as completing each other rather than competing with one another. (Read Hebrews 10:24 Let us be concerned for one another, to help one another, to show love and to do good.[Good News]) And then look for ways in which we can help our spouse in those areas that God's gifted us in.

(10) BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR VOW. Be a promise keeper—not a promise changer or a promise breaker. We vowed in our wedding ceremony to love, honor, and cherish each other. We noticed in the media today that said, "The rules have changed." We thought to our self, "In marriage, many couples are living as if the rules have changed. But God's rules really haven't changed. Heaven and earth pass away but His Word remains. The marriage vow is still to be honored even if our spouse doesn't keep up with his/her side of the vows. As the Bible tells us, "Let our yes be yes, and our no be no."

Our prayer for each other as we celebrate a marking of season in our marriage is that God will speak to our hearts to show us how to love one another "as unto the Lord". Let’s pray that we fervently look for ways to out-serve each other knowing that the Lord's smiling as He sees us loving our spouse as He loves us.

In our prayers, heaven touch earth. And, in Christ His love abounds, as together we pursue loving our spouses with the love of Christ, following these guiding principles (taken as commandments upon ourselves.)

In Christ’s loving grace,